Living For You.

A poem, written from the Seedlings/Poetry Prompt by @awritersvoice.

My body is numb, but for the feeling of the empty glass bottle in my hand
The open ground of the field around me feels strange beneath my feet, 
As if gravity is an entity I don’t quite know yet.
The crunch of gravel, dead grass, and leaves all scream out too loudly in the silence. 

The sun is setting in shades of yellow and orange, 
Bathing me in the light of your favorite precious metal.
Around the edges of light, the colors of a bruise form as the blue sky slowly fades.
My heart is exceptionally heavy this evening as I make my way to your grave.

You always loved watching the sun set over the lake.
How the rays danced over the ripples and waves,
But especially when the water was calm.
But there is no water here for you to watch over in your eternal slumber. I am sorry.

My feet stumble, but on what I do not know. 
Suddenly, I cannot walk anymore, for my drunken shame will not allow me.
So I sit, here in this field, legs folded, Indian style as they called it when we were kids…
You’re only a little way further ahead, behind that grove of trees, 

But I think I shall rest and watch the sun fade from here.
We were supposed to live life together, but you were dealt a fate far different than mine.
While your family celebrates your memory with candles and Facebook posts,
I drown your loss in a bottle of your favorite drink. I can’t leave you here all alone.

But I have to move on, flee the nest, and live the life that we both wanted.
As the last of the golden light leaves the sky, 
A sigh leaves me as I fall back, my spine pressed against the cold, hard ground.
The gentle breeze ushers in the stars as they begin to sparkle one by one on crushed velvet.

You’re so close, your name carved in granite, your bones encased in a wooden box.
In my sadness, as the whispers of wind work to dry my tears, 
I realize that you are at peace.
And that you’d want the same for me.

Rather than rise up, I lie and take in the night sky, the empty bottle of whiskey 
Forgotten by my side as I hear your voice inside my head.
Somewhere, an owl calls out. Night sounds ever so slowly soothe the anguish inside.
The stars above bring a lax grin to my face. 

How many times did we lie under the blanket of darkness and 
Contemplate the various meanings of life?
Now I must leave this town. I close my eyes, feeling you nearby. Again, your voice.
“So,” I whisper, “what was it you wanted to be when you grew up again?”

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I wrote this piece based on this prompt here by A Writer’s Voice . I’m hoping it fits well enough. I just ended up going where my brain cells took me.